so close i can almost taste it

tearing down the room.
taking down the dresses.
no more white paper chain on the door.
no more caitlyn painting above my twin XL bed.
the picture frames have been placed away.
gum wrappers discarded.
purse upon purse and shoe upon shoe tucked tightly into a plastic sterilite tub.
books packed into sturdy bags to be carried to the book buyback people tomorrow afternoon.
movie ticket stubs and business cards haphazardly thrown here and there among my paper goods.

the time has come to move out of thrailkill hall.
no more lucy-and-desi beds. no more cityscape view.
no more passive-aggressive bitch suitemate.

yep, i'm not thinking i'm going to miss this place all that much.
i'll miss the sense of community (the dormitory attribute i yearned so longingly for all last year).
i'll miss the proximity of living near my college best-friend.
i'll miss the abundance of phi kappa tau boys always in the lobby.
but that's about it.

time has come for change. and change shall come.

moving back home.
time to start anew again.
a chance to make home a haven, someplace welcoming but not binding.
a chance to improve the relationships i have with my parents.
a chance to nurture the relationships i have with old friends from home.
a chance to nurture the relationships i have with new friends within visitation proximity.
a chance to exhibit growth and maturity.
a chance to develop good habits and keep them.

let's not blow those chances, please.

things i want to accomplish this summer:
1. UNPACK AS SOON AS POSSIBLE! keep room at home tidy and calming. get rid of things with bad karma. discard clutter.
2. read Anne of Green Gables under a shade tree.
3. go running regularly.
4. walk regularly.
5. take advantage of the cumberland trail regularly.
6. stay supersocial.
7. make a decision about majors and minors.
8. throw eleni a wedding shower.
9. contribute to the step-show choreography of my first sorority, phi beta theta delta kappa mu.
10. develop a positive relationship with food, eating, and my body.
11. get a really amazing tan.
12. make significant money.
13. write letters.
14. find myself.
15. attempt a committed relationship. again.
16. road trip.
17. be a better friend.
18. be a better sister.
19. brainstorm socials for the fall. and ideas for yellow rose.
20. get laptop fixed.
21. dance. a LOT.
22. play tennis.
23. play, in general.
24. love.
25. live.
26. feel alive.
27. be aware.
28. learn to cook.
29. sleep.
30. find happiness and peace.

today was stressful.
last day of interning.
american political institution exam.
followed by spanish exam.
returned mel j's skates.
was reimbursed for parking at work.
went for a few hours' worth of a walk.
took a short nap.

oh, life.

i think my overwhelming theme for the summer is going to be awareness.
last summer i focused on feeling alive. running helped that.
easter break's emphasis was on being a better friend.
this summer, i'm going to be aware.
aware of life, aware of my future, aware of my actions, aware of people's perception of me, aware of my perception of me, aware of my body, aware of my words, aware of my motives, aware of my physical presence, and aware of the world around me.

all my life i want to strive to be a better person and to make everything i do intentional.
i know it's a little lofty, but it's a good goal.