I wore my Christmas sweater today.

This one's going to be more fun.
I reread some old entries in this dear old blog of mine.
It's the reason I won't delete my MySpace.
I was really worried last winter that I had lost my identity.I think I got it back this year.
Yes, I am evolved. I am different. I have blonder, shorter hair. I don't look as surprised in pictures. I haven't worn my retainers since April (Forgive me, Dr. Blackman. And Mother). [That is a lie, too. I wore them once in July and a few times in October.]
But essentially... I'm the same as I used to be.I got my joy back.I started doing things.
I rushed.I joined a sorority.
Alpha Sigma Tau!
I went to all their social meetings (from two days after I got my bid to now).I ran for Social Chair, with the intentions of actually getting it by my junior or senior year.And now I'm Social Chair.I'm Social Chair of my sorority.This is a very Kelly thing to do.
I acted in a film this year.Took film-acting and LOVED it.
But... I decided not to be a professional actress.So I dropped my Theatre major.
Well, I'm in the process, technically...
And then I decided I didn't want to do a thesis paper for PoliSci.And so then I dropped my Political Science major, too.
Again, I'm in the process. And yes, I know that's a stupid reason to drop a major. But I also heard that governmental employers prefer candidates with non-governmental degrees. Which is sort of counterintuitive and not exactly a reliable piece of information, but still.
But over the summer I HAD decided what I wanted to do with my life... plan formal events!And SO... I decided to become....A COMMUNICATION STUDIES MAJOR!Okay, so yeah. Comm Studies isn't exactly Party Planning 101.But... it's really close to PR, and PR is for event-planning, only our PR program is too journalism-based for my liking and I couldn't graduate in four years with a PR degree anyways, so Comm Studies it is for me! That sounds good, doesn't it? I seem like a Comm Studies major type, right? I mean, I like communicating. I like writing(ish). And the only way I can improve my writing is by learning to write, and being forced to write. And communication skills are invaluable, you know. Everyone wants to hire someone who can communicate. And if I'm going to be an event planner, I'm going to be having to coordinate a lot of different people at once, and that's going to require a lot of great communication skills. And if I decided to run for public office, I'm going to have to be a skilled communicator to get people to a) listen to me and b) decide that I am a credible being and vote for me! Look at Obama... he's good at communicating. And he's President. So there. Doesn't that sound right? Oh, and also... Mom always told me how she picked her major (nursing) because her roommate was a nursing major to begin with (which introduced the idea to her), so I sort of wondered if that could happen to me in college, and sure enough, my first roommate was a Communications major!!!
Affirmation? Please?
But anyways, this year has been an introduction of the real Kelly to the college world. I fused high school Kelly into college Kelly. And dropped the not-eating and being-quiet and depression and unfortunately the studying-because-there-was-nothing-else-to-do. But even from Day 1 of getting back to school, people noticed a change. Everyone told me I was a completely different person. A lot of people told me I just looked so much happier. They noticed I wasn't scared anymore. And it was wonderful.
It was like reuniting with an old friend.
And I have been happier this year. I think I'm even happy right now, amidst being broken up with recently,...
Ok. So it's been almost three weeks.This is irrelevant to me.
not knowing what my final grade in my ridiculously hard Comparative Politics class will be (after making a D- on my midterm. YIKES!), recovering from being sick for 4 weeks of the past 2 months (not consecutively), not being able to sleep because of repressed anxiety, and having a lot of busyness and chaos looming above me. It's the strangest thing and completely inexplicable, but I am happy. Yay rah!

Mom and I decorated for Christmas today. I have grown much more confident in my seasonal display arranging skills, so I felt up to the task of creating little holiday worlds all around the house (my favorite of which being the wine rack, which has been transformed into a winter wonderland complete with silver tinsel wrappings, sparkling glitter stars and snowflakes, a small white glittery church as centerpiece, glittered snowmen, cream cherub figurines with gold pipe cleaner wing accents, and other pretty things along the theme of gold and silver). I was also instructed to arrange the garland around our doorframe. I have realized my obsession with nutcrackers and The Nutcracker. Ohhh, I just love everything about Christmas. There was a ten-minute period of desperation and feelings of loneliness and overwhelming grief (which is a small but persistent undertone of the holiday elation) after hearing "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus," but this did not bring me to a complete emotional breakdown as has happened in Christmases past. (The song was just a trigger... it itself didn't make me sad.) Oh, and then I baked some chocolate peanut butter cookies (I need them for a farewell party for a theatre friend in a week or so) and made up the batters for some gingerbread, sugar, and vegan cream cheese sugar cookies, and froze them all. This will be infinitely helpful, I do believe.Mom and I are going to K-Mart tomorrow for our annual Martha Stewart Christmas collection shopping trip. I can hardly wait!

Now, I really do NEED to go read my book for Comp-Pol. Goodnight all. Love.