tippy-toes

Yellow and red hair and flowers and dresses and things make me happy.
I love all the pale blue that's coming out for spring. It's lovely...Anthro had quite a selection.Love Anthro.I got this beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful lace top Mon. night.It's see-through, but when you stick it over my pale yellow-and-cream polka-dotted camisole, it's perfect.
I'm loving this color font.Yes.
I'm also loving hair dye.I had my hair dyed three times this week.Tuesday was Day 1, in which my hair basically turned back to my natural color, dark blond.Wednesday was Day 2, in which my hair turned half a shade redder than dark blond. It made me think of the word "chestnut". A pale chestnut.And Thursday, Day 3, was the charm... although a bit more pronounced than the strawberry blond I was aiming for, we didn't dilute the tint formula at all, and my hair finally turned reddish.And I love.I love red hair with yellow, and yellow's my favorite color.I love red hair with green, and I have a TON of green.And basically, I just love red hair.
Julianna and I were spontaneous last night and went to Cool Springs with Drew and his friends to see a midnight showing of "Gran Torino." While the movie was def. a GUY movie and we weren't too psyched about it afterwards, it was worth it, and things were good.I got to climb on the roof of the theatre and see the lit-up city.Granted, of course, the view was quite like that which I can see from our dorm room (only it wasn't downtown Nashville and wasn't quite as impressive), but it was just cool to do it.
Drew is coming toniiiight to walk with me around campus.Like we used to do.Of course, it'll be more like the times we'd go after we'd stopped dating, but I'm used to that. I'm ok with it. I can handle it.I can be his friend like I was last year.As much as I was...Hmm.
This is such a pretty color.
I should maybe be a little more serious about things, like school, and work, and life, and whatnot... but for now, I feel carefree and contented with that.
I sort of have a headache.It may be sleep-deprivation-induced.
Maybe I can pop a couple Advils.
I think Advil tastes like M&Ms. (But I hate taking pills, so I don't eat them like candy, don't worry.)
Life is so much more streamlined and less complicated when I concentrate my affections to one boy.Even if my affections may be wasted.
I don't actually LIKE leading people on and going out with a different guy every night of the weekend. I mean, I enjoy their company, of course, but I know what the selection's like out there, and I'd rather just be selective.
I wonder how long this is going to last.

Is it weird that I like to look at couples' I know facebook wall-to-wall posts and examine the way they've communicated to one another throughout their relationship?And stalk their pictures.
I love the way couples can be so perfect for each other.I do.
I should get off facebook now, I think. Time to do something legit.
evening, y'all!..

OUT

Has anybody ever given you butterflies?

No. That would be kind of cool. Especially if they were dead and pressed up against something.

Haha. I'm not trying to be morbid. I just really like pressed butterflies.
You know, now that I think of it... maybe it's not butterflies that people normally press; it's flowers.

Hmm. That changes things.

Am I a weird or evil person for wanting to crush butterflies in their lovely dead perfection?
I am a weird person, of course.My roommate lovingly calls out to me, "Good afternoon, Crazy."
I am quite possibly criminally mad. But that's ok. It's me.
I'm going to be one of those girls tonight at yoga.You know.
The ones that don't wear pants.
The ones that wear leggings and a t-shirt and called it being "dressed."
Yes, I will be one of those girls.

Not in public... well, as public as the yoga room is, but besides that, I'm not going to be prancing around campus or even the small gym pantsless.

Just the yoga room.
And it's not because I think my legs in leggings are just soooooo hot or because I'm morally opposed to pants.
It's because I get hot in sweat PANTS.

And because I get cold in SHORTS.And because wearing shorts over leggings makes my shorts ride up and that's not what I want to be thinking about when I'm doing yoga. Ommm.
I'm OUT.

Joseph Biden... how I love thee.

Omg. I just saw pictures from a "Daisy Duke" competition sponsored by a fraternity.

What the heck? Who does that? I mean, I know there are worse things. Wet t-shirt competitions, for one.

But seriously...how deficient of self-respect are people, really?

I mean, I like legs as much as the next person. Maybe even more. They're my favorite body part.

But prancing around with a tied-up shirt and cutoff jorts so tiny that your butt hangs out... dannng.

I guess it's no worse than a bikini. I mean, bikinis are smaller than underwear in several circumstances, and I'm all about wearing bikinis.

But still... perhaps it's the suggestiveness.

It just exudes trashy.Maybe it's all in good fun. No big deal. I've probably worn, seen, or done worse.

But even if I worked out enough to have the most beautiful, athletic, gorgeous leg muscles and I knew I'd win... I still don't think I'd participate.

Hmm.

If I were in a Miss Something competition, I'd do the bathing suit portion. Does that make me a hypocrite? Purposefully exposing myself, subjecting my barely-covered body to judgment and critique? Would it really be worth that? I mean, I think it would be fun to be a Miss Something.

I'd want it just for the title (and perhaps the tiara). But... I don't know. Maybe that's why I've never done one. Maybe I never felt up to par enough to do one.....

I wonder if it's weird that I use abbrevs like "omg" and whatnot in my everyday speech. Or annoying.
Hmm.

Time for bed, methinks.
I shall leave with a list of things I like:
- Vanilla Almond Special K. Addictive.
- Craving Coral Revlon nail polish. Because I wear nail polish this year, apparently.
- The Office.
- Doing lunch.
- Dresses.
- Having a white ritual dress I love love love.
- Small utensils and dinnerware.
- Clothes that tell stories, even if they're painful stories.
- Curly hair.
- Hair dye. Well-dyed hair.
- Country Living.
- Laken.
- Yellow.
- Thank-you notes.
- Singalongs.
- Lilly Pulitzer and Kate Spade books.
- Going to the bathroom.
- My "five years younger" older sister.
- Working out. Even if it's 6 o'clock and not even God's awake.
- Raspberries. Frozen. With whipped cream.
- Sperry's.
- High heels and being used to them so they don't hurt.
- Being warm.
- Spring break.
- Legs.
- Joe Biden.

forget regret, or life is yours to miss

I have "So This is Christmas" stuck in my head. Don't ask. I don't even know.
Today marked the official beginnings of my social chairing.I met with ATO's SC and discussed our future mixer.I'm super-pumped about it, too.
I sort of double-booked one of our dates, though, so I'm going to have to work things out with Phi Tau.But it's going to be great, all of it.
I've been doing very well with working out, eating well, and not mindlessly snacking.I'm proud of myself.You'd think that the whole New Year resolution hype and whatnot would be sort of discouraging and half-hearted, since that's when everyone and their mother fails at doing what they want, but just having all this constant awareness from the people around me (ie, the cram-packed student gym, people ordering salads, consistent "health"-speak) is incredibly encouraging. I like it. And I have full confidence in my ability to maintain my habits. I've done it before. I can do it again. And I will.
I'm not going to go about it exactly in the same way... 1) because it's impossible for me to do so [I don't have the food resources I have at home, nor do I have time for 4-hour naps every day and unlimited access to a treadmill at 1AM] and 2) because last time I got carried away with the "Let's see how much weight I can possibly lose!" mentality and got too little. I think my motivations are a little better. I'm not starving myself [not that I starved myself to begin with last time... it just sort of elevated into a schism of that once depression of college set in], I'm working out to be more muscular and strong, and I'm doing this for long-run health benefits (and vanity, of course... but it's long-term vanity). I don't want my habits to become a temporary fix where I just get ridiculously skinny and then feel deprived and make myself physically sick eating all of the cookies I bake later on due to my body's natural survival mechanisms. I want to enjoy food but behave myself around it. And I need to be fit.
Youth is the time to take advantage of being able to easily obtain a girly six-pack and wear high heels.
Why waste that?
I'll tell you this... overindulging in CEREAL in attempts to procrastinate doing homework is NOT WORTH IT.
And a bag of chips at lunch really isn't providing me with that much joy, either.Yeah, it may taste good at the time, but living without it is not robbing me of quality of life.
So there.

On the boy front, there's been some drama-drama, but it's mostly chill now.I don't really like dating, but I still do it.And I'll continue to do it, as long as people continue to ask me out.You never know.Maybe I'll go on a date with someone I genuinely like.Maybe not.Maybe I'm spent, romantically.It feels like that a lot.I'm still not over Drew, that's for sure.I don't know what my problem is for why it takes me so long and feels so painful, but there we have it. It's just part of me now.At least the memories are beautiful. (And that they are.)My interest in boys hasn't exactly waned.While it has been rather fleeting thus far, I at least know I'm not about to join a convent or a nearby lezzie farm (excuse me for the politically incorrect terminology... I'm alluding to Georgia Nicolson books).
Boys boys boys.Still don't really get them.But that doesn't keep me from trying.

School is going well. Still waiting on a couple textbooks to arrive, but it should only be a matter of time.I'm going to do better this semester.
I can't put off my homework until mornings-of anymore, since I have my internship now.That's a good thing.As long as I do it in the afternoon/evenings and go to bed at a reasonable time, I'm coo.

This weekend will herald my first trip to UT-Chattanooga!!I'm going to see my dear friends Katie, Logan, and Bradley, and it will be wonderful and I am oh-so-very-excited, and I hope it goes marvelously.I found my camera on Monday night, so I am good to go now.
Well, naptime is calling my name right now. More later. Love....

back and rearing

I'm cold, but I'm back (at school). And rearing to go.I woke up this morning knowing that I would be making my way back to Belmont in the afternoon.I decided I didn't want to go.But I had to, so I ate my little breakfast roll (because I wanted to cook something for the last time before coming back to a dorm), made my hair a little more curly, and started to finish packing.And then by one o'clock, I had finally gotten the gazillions of bags of clothes, hats, shoes, Cheerios, makeup, green Christmas lights, journals, magazines, bedding, and hangers downstairs and transported them to my lovely little red car.With a couple of goodbyes, a surprise kiss-on-the-top-of-the-head from my father, "I-love-yous" and "I'll-call-yous," and a U-turn at the foot of the driveway to go get my running shoes, I was off.I listened to the radio. Mostly I like 107.5, but I'm a chronic station-switcher, so I went back and forth and back and forth so on.And then I got to school.And I was running late (of course).And I had food that needed to be refrigerated, and I wanted to brush my teeth, so I had to go drop by my dorm.So I pulled into the handicap spot, pushed the little hazard lights on, grabbed a couple of bags out of my trunk, and dashed up the stairs.I unlocked my door and realized I'd left the stupid bag of food.But it didn't matter; it was cold cold cold outside, so it'd keep for a couple hours.I did, however, grab my toothbrush, and proceeded to lock my door and brush my teeth down the elevator. I ran into a couple sorority sisters moving into TK and made my attempts at saying hi whilst brushing my teeth still.And then I ran to the bathroom, spit, and came dashing through the hall.And to my wonderful surprise, I ran into Heather, my dear friend who is an RA. And said my very enthusiastic hello-and-how-are-you?, and then I was off to the Student Center.And it's good to be back.I love seeing people I know.I love smiling at people.And I can't help but do it a LOT around these here parts.I hardly even know how happy I am to see people until I see them, and then I shock us both with my enthusiasm.Mmm... college.It's everything I wanted it to be now. In other news, I still have one-two-three-four-five-six-seven-eight-NINE bags left to unpack, an extra-large twin bed to make, and some stamps to find.I should probably turn on the heater, too. I was burning up from unpacking my car, so I turned on the AC, and now I'm chilly.I've missed this place.I think sometimes maybe I'm only truly, completely happy here.That sort of worries me, you know, because it's different than all the ways I've felt before; home used to be the only place I found solace.I don't want to call here home, necessarily, although I'm not near as rigid about it as I was last year.Because home is home. This needs a new name.It's like how Laken Myers will always be my best friend.Regardless of who I meet and bond with and spend time with and love and cherish, I will never have the same relationship with anyone else as I do with Laken.And Laken's got the title of Kelly's best friend, so that she shall remain.Anyone else will just have to be something a little different, because they are a little different.So what are you, you beautiful land of education, friends, and a sparkling nighttime cityscape which I am looking at right now? Besides Belmont, of course. You need a pet name.Maybe I'll call you my "place at ease." That's a little wordy, but something else can come with time. Haven! Haven's a nice synonym. I am haven. Well, that doesn't exactly sound as good as I am home, but whatever.It's good to be back.

No clouds in my storms/Let it rain/I hydroplane in the bank/Comin’ down with the Dow Jones

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remember that utterly crap Mariah Carey movie?

Hmmm.
I'm reading Twilight at last.And yes, I like it.Yes, I am addicted.
I even have a headache from all of this reading.
Actually, saying that I'm reading Twilight is incorrect. I'm on the second book, New Moon. And hopefully, Julianna-willing, I will be onto Books 3 and 4 by tomorrow/Wednesday. And will see the movie next week.
You know, even if it's a little absurd and a bunch of people give Stephanie Meyer hell for having her heroic male be a vampire that glitters, I do like glitter a lot. I forgive her.

I think I'm beginning to develop a fear of dogs.I really don't like dogs.I like our birddog, Pretty, somewhat, but even she can snarl and growl and get vicious and I don't like that. (Speaking of which, she ate an ENTIRE cheesecake within 24 hours! Good LORD. Normal dogs don't eat that much cheesecake, do they? Or do all dogs just eat whatever's in their little dog-bowls?)Maybe I would like a calm, sweet dog that didn't smell and left me alone. Not a little annoying yappy dog, but a medium-sized good-tempered dog.I liked my old German Shepherd, Angel, but she was still a bit big and ferocious. She ate my cats.You know, cats are the only animals I really like. Well, cats and wolverines, but you can't have a wolverine in your house.I think I would like a cat.A big white fluffy one, perhaps. Any big fluffy one, really. Hmm. But then it'd shed. Crap.I don't know. I do like cats, though.I don't want to be a cat lady with an odorous house, but I wouldn't mind a neutral-smelling, pretty, nice cat.But back to why I think I'm afraid of dogs now...So, I like to go running outside (it's so much less boring than the treadmill!), but I don't go as much as I'd like to because I DREAD these stupid big white fluffy dogs that are enormous and positively vicious. They've bitten my mother before.The last time I went running, I had to run with this gigantic tree branch that I picked up. And I was glad that I did pick it up, because sure enough, as I'm bounding my way back home past Chicken Man's house, those stupid dogs come chasing me and barking. Eventually when I realized I couldn't outrun them, I stopped abruptly, whipped around, and brandished my tree branch, hollering in a brusque voice, "GET BACK!" I would've said something along the lines of "Get away from me, you stupid-freaking-hobags!" but dogs don't understand literary nuance. I hate dogs.Dani's stupid freaking dog got loose when I was trying to walk her on my birthday this year. I was positive that I was going to be responsible for killing my disabled (her foot was broken at the time) sister's pet, and that seriously bothered me. I felt like I had zero control over the whole situation. I tried to do everything in my power to get her back, but she was too fast and too stubborn. Thank GOD these random people chased her into some other random person's apartment and tackled her so that I could get her leash back on. Otherwise, she would be squished on the highway and my birthday would have been completely ruined.I HATE dogs.

Anyways, on my way downstairs to fetch my bottled water, I saw Pretty sleeping on the couch and had to tiptoe around her so she wouldn't rip my face apart with her teeth if I woke her, and it reminded me of vampires, so that was how I connected the two thoughts.

My whole not-getting-over-the-guy-who-broke-up-with-me-two-months-ago thing is getting old faster than a month-old carton of cottage cheese that no one really wanted. I think I'm seriously annoying the [I-don't-really-know-what] out of a bunch of people (particularly my roommate, who never hears the end of it) by constantly bringing him and it up. Stupid boy. It would be one thing if I just stopped dating, became jaded by love (and consequently stopped believing in it), and lived in silent turmoil over the whole situation. But no, I choose to rehash it every available chance I get. And I'm like four pages away from having completely filled that stupid journal I write to him. I wonder if writing in it is actually inhibiting me from getting over him. Who knows? But really... I don't want to get over him. So I'm not. And as long as I keep up this attitude, I won't. [I wonder if that's a problem. What would make that qualify as a problem?]

I'm going strawberry blonde as soon as possible. And then I think I want to go as super-blonde as possible. And then I'll go brunette.I like trying new hair.And college is totally the right time to do it.

God, the broads on The Real Housewives of Orange County (Okay, first off: WTF? Why would you mix The OC and Desperate Housewives??? Why? Why, why, why why?) are ugggggly. Yuck. I do NOT want to look like that when I turn forty. And you'd think that all that plastic surgery and going to the gym would make them prettier somehow. Huh.

My head keeps cursing a lot here lately. I don't know why. I don't get it, but whatev.
I don't think I'm ready to go back to school, but I don't know what I am ready for.More Twilight.... yes.

oh-nine, oh-nine

God, sometimes I do really stupid stuff.
And then I think they're fun.
But then something happens and makes me realize, oh my GOD, Kelly, you were SO STUPID!
Girls are mean mean mean mean mean. (I'm not excluding myself.)
And if you do ANYTHING to cross some girls (anything to even remotely possibly POTENTIALLY offend some girls), you had better watch your back.

I made my A's in my classes.Even the ones I didn't feel that I deserved them in.But the really valuable knowledge that I feel like I've gotten has been from life experience, and one of those tidbits is to THINK BEFORE YOU DO STUPID STUFF!
If you have to lie about it, you should probably not do it.
If you don't want to be photographed doing something, you should probably NOT DO IT.
If you don't want pictures of you to surface on facebook while you're doing something stupid, YOU PROBABLY SHOULDN'T BE DOING THAT STUPID SOMETHING!
Just watch yourself.It's okay to be a little crazy sometime in your life.
I always think about the most interesting old people I've known, and they're always the ones with crazy stories to tell about their young days.
I mean, how fun would it be to tell your grandchildren, "Oh, well, during my day... I didn't really do anything out of the ordinary... I just, you know, went to school, did my homework, obeyed my parents, lived my life..."?
I'm not saying you should stop going to school or blow off your homework or disobey your parents or throw all caution to the wind, but I think that people are entitled to living their lives and consequently dealing with the aftermath of the decisions they make.
I just need to start anticipating those consequences before I make those decisions, so that way I can make the best possible choices.

Ahhh, happy new year. If you've done something stupid lately, forgive yourself and learn from it and move on. We have a new year ahead of us. Who knows what the HECK will happen next?