rekindled

I really know how to have a good time.

Favorite songs are like old friends.

Dear High School Sweetheart,

I'm wearing the pretty blue German crystal bracelet you gave me when you came back from Europe. I still think it's the prettiest thing I own. I only wear it on special occasions since it's a little bit sacred.

I'm listening to that firefly song you did your freshman year of college.

I still have that birthday card Laken gave me on my sixteenth birthday that has the picture of the girl in the leopard-print coat and the boy carrying the pile of packages and a scribbled "Dustin" and "Kelly" that Laken wrote above their heads. It's affixed to my bulletin board so it's right in my line of vision whenever I sit down at my desk. Which is all the time I'm in my room here.

I thought you're supposed to go away to college and you lose all the feelings you had for your high school lovers, but I was wrong. I'm not in love with you, but I do still love you. I wouldn't say I'm still hung up over you, but I do have mini-conniptions when we run into each other and I am still playing the tape you recorded me when you went away to college. I still call you on your birthday. I think that still says something. It's just... what is that something?

I won't go back. I would have, but you made a few decisions I can't live with. And I've probably made decisions you can't live with.
But I still wonder. Maybe I always will.